byebye,Beijing

Beijing is in construction, everywhere it’s like that. But these all stuff give me hope to expect a better city. Like this place, they are building some old style houses near to Nan luogu Xiang(南锣鼓巷), finally I can see the government are not pull down these treasure but rebuilding them. Also like that, my home campus, China women’s university is also in building now, in 90 days, we will have a totally new studying building and canteen! Even though I will not stay here for that any longer, still happy about that. No construction without destruction.

Today Hugo and I had a long walk in Beijing Hutong, I think I will miss Hutong very much. Something really near to life, no hiding, no making up.Of course another reason is there are always some amazing but cheap,even free for students, exhibition in Beijing. I’m really thankful for my time here and absolutely enjoy it.

This is a picture drawing by Hugo, it’s my name,lulu. Thank you so much!

I will leave Beijing soon, but this city will always be one of the most important place to me.

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if or if not

Today in our English class, Ms. Lu asked our princeple, I said” do what I love, love what I do.” After a bit think, she responded to me,”it’s hard.”To kids like me, who are protected in campus, what I said might be really too childish. In another hand, to people who struggling in the world, covered with endless pressure and hopeless. What I said is too out of reality.Past is heavy, and all we focus on.It push everything possible away.

I want to start from my major to express my opinion.

今天英文课上,老师问我们的principle,我说“do what I love, love what I do.”Mrs 陆想了一下说,这很难。对于我这样没有压力,圈养在学校里的孩子来说,也许这样的想法也许真的是幼稚了点。或者换句话说,对于那些挣扎在社会上,累计了大半辈子的压力和无奈的人来说,这样的想法实在是不现实了。

这话是老套了点,所以这次我想用我的专业为例子来说明我的观点。

These days I keep reading some books on history and philosophy . After a whole year discussing about gender issue. I do want to find some reason and step lead to these issue now. Is it really unreasonable that allowing people to keep their belonging in primitive society? Is it really unreasonable to develop from private ownership. Professor said, don’t use the word reasonable too easily. I do not understand why unreasonable can be easily used while reasonable can’t. What I prefer to accept is gender issue is coming from history and it’s always reasonable to exist.Or can you say Socrates and Confucius look down on female after they made a deal together? The real problem is  how it goes.

最近一直在看历史和哲学的书,讨论了一年多的性别不平等,我真的想找出这种状况累计下来的原因和步骤。我说,难道在原始社会物质匮乏的时候让人们保留自己的生产物资难道不合理吗?从私有制开始发展过来难道不合理吗?老师的回应是,不要轻易使用”合理“这个概念。我大概是真的没看到除了马哲以外哲学,反正我是看不出这不是历史必然而是偶然的任何痕迹,而且为什么不合理这个概念可以被滥用,而合理却不能轻易说出口。我更能接受的是,历史上的性别不平等就是存在了,而且并没有什么不合理。否则难道苏格拉底和孔子要约好了一起贬低女性?关键看的是历史如何发展。女性主义只是历史修缮者中的一员。没用谁能提出一个深孚众望的理想国目标,那么就大家一起磨合和创造。
光哥说一直在想我们专业的问题,说我们专业有个预设,女性是受歧视的。我当然不尽同意光哥的观点,因为两性平等对男性的社会压力缓解有相当大的好处。但是说了一年多的性别歧视,我还真是恶心了。虽然旅行在外,遇到的人大多还是”女人怎样怎样腿型好看“,”咱们爷们怎样怎样“,所以别跟我说什么早就平等了,有本事你女孩子别张口闭口就是减肥,男孩子别有事没事就说女生要“钓”百万富翁。还真有人问过我咱们专业是不是教我们如何钓百万富翁。但历史就是历史,已经存在了。电脑出现也就46年的事,www.出现的时候都是89年了。母系社会,女主政治也不是什么秘密。就唐朝的时候公主还有面首(男宠的意思)呢。谁知道几十年后这个世界是个什么样子?我确实对于批驳从前的制度没有过多的兴趣,像个旁观者一样冷静地分析就足够了,何必像自家小黑狗被人踹了一样义愤填膺?
现在回到题目来,我们总是在过去找原因。为什么我不能do what I love,love what I do?因为我要考虑到我的工作安排,因为我要考虑到我的家人是否赞同,因为我要考虑到我的身体状况,因为我要考虑到我是否有时间,因为我要考虑……所有这些都是已经存在的,虽然有问题了,但是无法改变,因为某些原因,就是不能。
我真不关心谁谁谁到底能不能过自己想过的生活,大多数人都说不行,因为认为行的人都在过自己想过的生活,根本不会抱怨这些没用的话。以”45度角仰望天空,带着明媚的忧伤“的孩子们都有着自己的苦衷。我既不想沉浸在对过去如何不合理的讨论中(找到历史发展的脉络,我更想思考以后能如何。)也不想沉浸在对过去无奈积累的”悲伤“中。
过自己想过的日子实在是简单。我喜欢北京也是这个原因,太多的机会,只要想做,会做,要做的事情就多得不得不选择和舍弃。